Baba and his buddy

I've found that one of the hardest things about having a new baby is that I don't get the time with August that I'd like. He and I end up having only a little along-together time, and much of that feels like stolen moments at the end of the day (or grumpy moments at 6am). I'm more tethered to Leif and can only be away so long before he needs me and my lactational superpower.

But yesterday evening August and I went for a walk around the neighborhood together; it was very casual, we didn't even get dressed up in our winter suits, just coats and hats, and wandered down the sidewalk. It was fun peeking into windows and storefronts and doing funny walks and runs with him. We stopped in front of a junky little antique shop, and as he looked at the little cars and dolls (all of whom were named Dai Dai), I looked at him: his long eyelashes, his round cheeks, the tufts of blond hair sticking out of his hood, his chest rising and falling with his breath, his eyes and mind exploring this new corner of his world. When I see him in these moments, these moments that he is actually still for more than 4.4 seconds, I see a little angel. I see in his being a blessing bestowed upon me, so lucky to be his mother.

James, however, ends up spending much more alone time with Augie, and they go on fun neighborhood adventures and even sometimes take the train a stop or two away. As tough as it is for me to feel more distance from him in these months, it is also beautiful to watch James and Augie become buddies, with their own language and shared experiences. I love listening to the chatter of them having breakfast together or the exuberance of building a ramp out of the bed.

Here are a few photos I've scavenged from James's phone.

Sometimes I realize it's better that I don't know what they're doing in there:

Doesn't his little face look so frozen?

I'm pretty sure he was supposed to be napping: