Little feet

Some days are easier than others. Some days are harder. And it seems like whenever we have an easy day, it's followed by a hard day. Today was hard. Augie woke up in a bad mood very early (4am), and James went to bed with him while I finished a nursing session with Leif, and then I swapped in to be with Augie. It's clear that Augie misses me a bit, especially at night, so we try for me to go in with him whenever he's calling (he's been waking more now that we have a newborn in the house). I calmed Augie down (by nursing him) and we all went back to sleep, and then at 7-something James swapped in to be with Augie so I could nurse Leif again, and then we all slept until 9am. So that's not a bad wake-up time, but that's a lot of bed-swapping and baby-feeding.

On top of the exhaustion I'm feeling a little out of it, with some pain and bleeding (I've been in touch with the hospital), so I've essentially been out of commission with helping take care of Augie. James has been working very hard and visiting lots of parks the last two days.

BUT. Despite the fatigue and the pain and the constant gnawing at my breasts by these two suckling babes, we are so happy. Being around a newborn, smelling him, holding his helpless little body in my arms, is wonderful, awe-inspiring, and so, so fulfilling. And Augie gets funnier and cheekier every day, and more loving, and we're all bathed in his kisses and hugs and silly games (especially Leif!). We know how lucky we are, and how amazing these two little creatures are, and we remind ourselves and each other all the time.

I'd love to get photos like this (or the toddler equivalent) of Augie, but that one never sits still. Never. Sits. Still.

Augie made 15 months yesterday! And I was going to write a post about all the cool things he's doing lately, but I'm so tired that I can't remember any of them. Nothing.

But two weeks ago, he did something funny. Remember that he's sleeping in a Montessori bed? Well, I got up to pee in the middle of the night, and when I came back into the bedroom I realized that he was sleeping on the floor, his head resting on his bed. He had wiggled and squirmed all the way onto the floor! He did it twice in one week, without even waking when he made it to the floor. Now we put a pillow at the end of his bed so he doesn't roll out. Not that he'd notice anyway.

He uses utensils! He's getting better all the time. And he can drink out of a big boy cup without help, from table to mouth and back again (usually) with no mess. (Other times, there's a steady stream of milk pouring into his lap). We have to admit to being happy we skipped the sippy cup, even if it has meant more work and more mess for us. Helping him learn to do something all by himself is rewarding for all of us.

You! Stop harassing me while I eat!

One of the coolest things he's doing right now is trying to help with house chores. I can't get any sweeping done when he's awake, because he takes the broom or the dustpan (or both) and takes his turn sweeping the floor. He also likes to use a washcloth to wipe up the floor or table. And yes, we're encouraging this behavior.

Obviously, we're also encouraging pants-free Saturdays. (As though this is different attire from any other day at our house.)

Augie and I have a few games that we play while nursing, and this is my favorite: I point out a part of my face, and then touch that part of his face. He always giggles when I get to his ears. And no matter what part of my face I touch, he just points to his forehead.

Augie still doesn't use any words regularly, except "mama", which we finally think actually refers to me. All of our other friends with babies his age are talking up a storm, and have a vocabulary of at least a dozen words. I have to admit that we are a little bit worried about this, and his general lack of communication (he doesn't wave regularly either, and it seems like he's stopped using sign language). It's not anxiety-inducing worry, but we are paying close attention to this. He's always been a very physical little boy, so probably his brain is just still plugging away at all the physical feats he has to master. Did I tell you he can dribble a soccer ball??? Probably in a year or two he's going to start speaking in iambic pentameter or something.

Okay, so obviously I remembered some things that he's doing now, but that's just because I had pictures to jog my memory. I'll try to do better with posting things as they happen.

Date night on Gamla Stan

James and I went on our second date in 14.5 months last night. Can you believe it? I can't. I never thought I'd be the type of mom (or we'd be the type of couple) who just stops doing things after having a baby. But then again, I also never thought I'd be raising babies in a vacuum - by which I mean with no outside help whatsoever. We don't have family who lives nearby to sit at home with the baby while he sleeps, or to take him for an hour or two during the day while we run errands or have lunch or go to the doctor (we actually had to take Augie to the doctor with us a couple weeks ago!). We don't have money to pay a babysitter. And until recently, Augie's sleep has been so unpredictable that we weren't comfortable with having friends come over once he'd fallen asleep, for fear that he'd wake up and everyone would be terrified.

I'm not really complaining about these things - these were our choices. We've chosen to live far from family and raise our baby with friends around us instead of family. I (sort of) chose not to work so I could be at home with Augie (though even if I had gone back to work we would barely have been able to pay for day care in America, so things like babysitters would still be a luxury).

But: two dates in 14.5 months. We really gotta get better at this. (Oh, and we think it's quite funny that our babysitter last night was a world-famous scientist!).

We went to Gamla Stan ("old town") Stockholm for dessert and tea. We went to two places for two chocolatey desserts, and walked along the cobbled lanes and tried peeking in windows. We found a wonderful old bric-a-brac shop which was open at 9pm; we bought Augie a little soccer ball and me a small ceramic bowl. It was wonderful to get out and enjoy Stockholm. We even found things other than Augie to talk about.

What did you do for Valentine's Day?

Pappa!

In my post the other day, I shed a particularly unkind (albeit deserved) light on Stockholmers. I'd like to amend that to note that the individual Swedes we've met and had personal conversations with are almost all kind, charming, and friendly. We've received many invitations to people's homes for lunch or dinner, we've been given toys, a fantastic stroller blanket, and a winter suit, and James has been heartily welcomed at work. So I want to clarify that I'm not saying that everyone here is terrible; it seems that there's a distinct split between how Stockholmers treat strangers and how they treat friends. We've met so many kind, hospitable, and fascinating people through James's work, and we are grateful for that wonderful network of international friends and colleagues.

Something else that I quite appreciate about Swedish society is how active both parents are in raising the children. From what I can gather, it seems that the mother usually takes the first year of parental leave to be at home with the baby, and the father takes the remaining 5-7 months. I cannot imagine, anywhere else in the world, fathers being so encouraged and committed - and expected! - to raise babies.

Nor can I imagine anywhere else in the world where would you find a slick, glossy magazine called "Daddy"!

How cool are Stockholm's children's libraries?

Eating his first whole pear, sporting some serious bedhead: